It may render you incandescent and apoplectic with spitting rage.
It may leave you frothing with futile frustration at the pointlessness of it all. Or it may simply leave you bewildered and lost, surrounded by a blinking, roaring excitement from which you feel sidelined. (I dont just mean the Scots!).
For some, the Football World Cup is nothing more than a relentless, bleating ballyhoo which is very hard to avoid. Well to those who feel that way, fear not! As we have devised a guide to save you from the deafening roar of mass hysteria and shelter you from the storm of frenzied football addiction!
How to Avoid the Football World Cup
1. Go Devout. Join a Monastery or Convent
I would be surprised if the monks and nuns will be soaking up the World Cup and following the action. By joining them for the months of June and July you will have a pretty good chance of bypassing each and every article, analysis and slow-mo replay of the whole debacle! However, you may be unlucky and end up in a football-mad monastery or a convent full of keepy-uppy champion nuns.
2. Sail away from it all
Although people always say that sound carries over water, I sincerely doubt you will be affected by the football hubbub as you sail away into the sunset. Television, internet and newspapers become a distant memory as the wind fills your sails and the waves wash gently against the hull. Eda Frandsen is an 80 ft classic yacht full of wooden character and seafaring comforts. She will be setting sail for trips exploring the western isles throughout the World Cup.
3. Travel under your own steam
If you re keen to escape the madness that will be gripping the country, then why not head for the wild places where football is not? To truly escape the football-furore you may have to travel in ways that most people avoid. Head for the hills or paddle your way into some truly idyllic and untouched locations with one of our friendly, expert ‘football-free’ guides. You will be hard pushed to be met with a TV, wifi or even mobile reception when sleeping under canvas in the Scottish wilderness. Which in our case is the aim of the game.
4. Embrace the wilderness
Take this escapism idea to the next level and venture to the UK’s Last Great Wilderness, the Knoydart peninsula. Only accessible by boat, this remote and wild headland does have a village pub where football madness may have just about reached. That’s why we will be taking you to Doune, at the tip of the headland, which offers a welcome respite from television, internet and endless football conjecture, replacing it with warm local hospitality and the best fresh seafood in Scotland!
How are you feeling about the Football World Cup? Do our suggestions seem like a welcome medicine to the madness that is approaching? Or perhaps you can’t believe what you ve been reading?! Please let us know in the comments.